Sunday, February 7, 2010

Got Them Low-Down, Dirty Movin' Blues

I am tired of moving. I do not ever want to move again. I do not even want to think about the remotest possibility of moving in the next two decades. I despise the sight of cardboard boxes, bubble wrap, and packing tape. And we're still not done yet.

Honestly, if someone offered us the house of our wildest dreams in the absolutely most wonderful location for free, no strings attached, if only we'd pack up and move there next week, I'd probably kill him and stuff his dismembered body in one of the many cardboard boxes we have lying around the house at the moment. But each part would be carefully wrapped in bubble wrap and the box would be securely fastened with packing tape, 'cause that's what you do when you're moving.

Moving has been a perfect illustration of the 80/20 rule. It's taken twenty percent of our time to move the first eighty percent of our belongings, but the remaining twenty percent of the stuff still at the old house will consume 80 percent of our time by the time we're through with it.

I have a theory that cave people probably moved around from cave to cave a bit when the old cave got too full of junk and dirt. When Thagmina couldn't take the fleas and dust bunnies any longer, she probably told Thag to pack up the hides and bones and they schlepped off to stake out a new cave. Thagmina probably knew of a good cave that was available because she'd been keeping an eye on the real estate section of the Paleolithic Times. Thag probably grunted and did as he was told because it was easier that way. Moving must have been pretty easy back then as there weren't any Targets where you could buy throw pillows and scented candles and decorative plates to fill up the cave. You might have had a spear and maybe an extra fur or two to take to the new cave, but certainly you weren't going to regret buying that large entertainment center for a flat screen TV that was so big you had to take the door off to get it through the front of the cave. Besides, you'd would have been too busy scrounging for food or grooming the fleas off your mate to check out the clearance aisle at Target in the first place. At least until Thag Jr. came around, and then Thagmina probably shopped at Target every week trying to find toddler pants that would fit over a Dinosaur Jr. Pull-up and would still be long enough in the legs for her little caveman.

Wait....where was I on this rant about moving? Oh yes, the remaining twenty percent bit that's still at the old house. That's all the stuff that either 1) we just haven't had good weather to put it on the trailer and haul it over or 2) I'm not convinced I want it so much that I'm willing to pack it up and move it to the new house. As a result of scenario number two, there's a growing pile of items that would make good garage sale fodder. We got the idea that we could have an indoor garage sale and a simultaneous open house sometime in February, which is ingenious except that it's already February and we're still not done moving, the house isn't ready for sale, and a real estate agent we know has a potential buyer already identified.

I wonder if we could convince the potential buyer to also buy all the garage sale fodder along with the house? It would save us the effort of taking the front door off to move the entertainment center.

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